Where were you 10 years ago? Whether or not it’s truly a “new decade” is debatable, but the new year is still a time to reflect on what’s changed.
Since 2009, I’ve visited 13 countries on four continents and been employed by 10 different companies. I went from getting paid in envelopes of cash to mindless administrative work to having a sweet title and literally getting paid to write about eating. My writing has gotten better, I think - but who really knows. I do more of it now but almost never just for me.
I have been through three rounds of relationships where I thought I was with “the one.” I can’t properly put into words what this feels like, but “heartbreaking” is pretty close. I’m single, but I still have hope. I’ve met so many amazing friends and it makes me sad that I am not still in touch with all of them - but I guess that’s the way life works as you get older.
I became a person who works out regularly, even (occasionally) waking up at 6 a.m. to do so. I lost 10 pounds and a non-vital organ, then gained it all back plus some - but I’m the strongest I’ve ever been.
There’s so much to mourn, and so much to be grateful for. I’ve learned a lot about myself, have grown and changed. I sometimes still revert to old habits but I’m more conscious of them now. The only thing I can do is continue to be hopeful.
I’m planning a lot more changes for this decade - starting with my first trip to Asia in March and, oh yeah, buying a house.
Here’s a breakdown of my last 10 Januarys.
New Year’s 2010
Jan. 2010: I am living in Italy as an English teacher. I bring my Italian boyfriend home for the holidays, he asks me to move in with him. I think my adult life is starting.
Jan. 2011: I'm back in San Diego after being cheated on, working an administrative job at a terrible but fun company. I have been sad for six months, but it turns out living three blocks from the beach can work wonders.
Jan. 2012: Having just spent Christmas in Texas with my family, I start to think maybe I should move back home. Bonus: It’s where the person I am in love with (but not my boyfriend) lives.
Jan. 2013: I have moved into my first, shitty windowless apartment in Austin. Four short days after adopting my soulmate, Shiloh, I fly to San Francisco to spend New Year's with college friends I love dearly but never see. I still feel lost, career-wise - but this is the year I get the first job I’m proud of.
Jan. 2014: Spent NYE in NYC with my long distance boyfriend who breaks up with me shortly thereafter (we don't speak for several years but now we're good friends!). Six months later I move from shitty apartment into sweet condo - this happens soon after that person I was in love with (who I’ve been in love with for 14 years) finally cuts contact.
December 2014 party with Shiloh and my first Christmas tree.
Jan. 2015: After three months of a whirlwind, Marc has just broken up with me for the first time. I am getting into yoga, which I started a month before the January crowds (highly recommend this). I meet the person who gets my freelance writing career started, and I will have an article go viral this year.
Jan. 2016: I ring in the new year with friends. Marc is spending the holidays with his parents in Spain or some shit - he has made it very clear that five months later he will move away and he does. In March, I make a very good friend.
Jan. 2017: The foundation I am working at closes, so I fly to Rio de Janeiro to spend New Year’s with a guy I met on Tinder a month earlier. It's one of the few bright spots in a year that is foggy while I am still picking up the pieces. I am currently a "full-time freelancer” but eventually make writing my profession. I was just published in Texas Monthly so I think I’m hot shit (nIt will be 7 years before I have another pitch accepted).
Jan. 2018: The year starts with snow, which is a nice contrast to some of the truly problematic shit I get into in 2018.
Jan. 2019: Ring in the new year with amazing friends. Am now used to the free food. Piss off a big name in Austin with one of my articles. Luck into a “real job” in March.
Jan. 2020: Start the year dancing with my best friend, who I will cut ties with a few months later, and going a few hundred thousand dollars in debt buying a house.
Here’s to the next 10.